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Where is our mind? by ~007-Synith:icon007-Synith:



i.

Captain hook gnaws the sky-
With his shiny paw…

L
     i
         c
              k
                  i
                     n
                          g

    the resentments of a brave swordfight
Writhed and sailed in open seas
Where the water parts and splashes
Like cosmic spacedust geisering from divine hands.

ii.

Riptides ride like brainwaves dipped
In sodium remembrances of Peter Pan:
   The Thumbelina kiss of the thimble
Caresses my cheek and shockwaves my spine
Until each vertebra aligns like teenage girls
Logging on to myspace just to flutter their eyelids
at the sight of a 6-pack naked man.

iii.

Where is Pan now?
Have the light-hearted whims of childhood
Flown away with him in his satchel of dust?

Oh how I remember the wish and the bell
Who tinkered on tin foil shining vibrantly
Amidst the mid-morning sun…

And where is Captain Hook now
When the sky begins to clear
And the veracious clouds have parted their path
And drifted on into the newcomers mind?

Where is Yorick now?
When his merriment has ceased to juggle…

Oh where has our mind drifted to
When Hook’s claw ceases to shine
And virgin eyes turn away from mystery
Because they have better things to do…

Oh, how I wish to be a child again
And dance with fairies and Mickey
And play dress up like goons at a Halloween party…

How I wish, How I wish…
©2007-2009 ~007-Synith
:icon007-synith:

Author's Comments

RANDOM!

Comments


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:icon007-any-other-name:
I really like this. you have a very distinct style here that bulds together both these gorgeous images and a stark realism that I think is very impressive. great job.
:icon007-synith:
Thanks :D

Though, I'm still developing exactly what my 'style' is.. but it's all in the process of writing.

Thank you very much for your comments :D

-S
:icon007-cailinliath:
I'm not the biggest fan of part 3, but I adore part deux for well, all of it. Or all of it but the last line, which for me doesn't quite fit linguistically with what you've done with the rest. But, yummy. Oh and the first section is just tasty. The opening is utterly edible.
:icon007-synith:
Wait til you see the rewrite.. you'l lbe stuffed with sweets :P
:icon007-salshep:
"cosmic" - beware the redundancy, it bites.

Oh - and the gimmicky spacing. Blech.

This needs wringing out, tying up and a sharp pair of scissors, but the conceit is GREAT, and the basic blocks of a damned good and interesting poem are all there. Cannot wait to read the revision.

<3 Sal
:icon007-synith:
Cheers.

And yes. I tore it up with my editing pen.

It shall be redone :)

Details

January 22, 2007
2.2 KB

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